I am a female, I am single, I am in my early 30’s and, yes, I have my shit together!
I may be sitting in a towel, eating chocolate and channeling my anger into writing, but I still have it all together. I may have decided against cutting up all the fresh veggies I just bought from the shop and have now resorted to a ‘heat and eat’ kind of meal, but I’m telling you I have it all sorted out. (I am just choosing to avoid sharp instruments or I might just chop off all the penises of single males so that they can be encouraged to think with their brains…)
I tell you what, this blog has become a challenging thing to write. It’s becoming my space to vent so that I can continue to keep all my shit together. The anger rises and the hurt stings, so I let it out there and then I continue on with my amazing life. The thing is, I really don’t enjoy hanging on to negative thoughts or feelings. I have so many amazing stories to tell. Why can’t I share those with you? I’m sure I will, but right now, good-golly-gosh, I’m angry.
So, focusing back to the ‘shit together’ thing… I definitely have ups and downs. I can assure you I am not perfect. I have faults. There are things in my life that I may be terrible at, forever. That’s okay. I am also superwoman with some things. Balance, people, balance.
Now that we have that covered, this is where I use my public service announcement to call out to all single men who are finding themselves at a stage in their life where they are feeling a bit messed up. Quick, quick boys! There is a single girl out there that isn’t. Hurry. Pounce. Even if she isn’t looking. Quick, get her, pin her down with enthusiasm and surprise. Allow her the opportunity to show you that she has life sorted. Let her teach you how to be resilient. Ask her how she wakes up every morning loving herself and where she’s at, no matter what is happening around her. This girl may restore your faith in women, after that last terrible experience you had. This woman may make you excited about what your future holds.
But, OH. MY. GOD., this woman is not your stepping stone, or your bandaid. She is definitely not to be used as your warm fuzzy or your sometimes comfort. She is not your new friend who, *bonus*, you think is attractive and you’d like to enjoy – just like that saying about cake. NO, boys, no!
Now, some of these men may argue against the point of me being ‘together’ with my ‘shit’. I know this, because I am human and I know that through relationships I have made mistakes, I have lacked confidence, I have let my headspace get the better of me and I have shown cracks. The reality is, that’s a given when you’re real and that’s expected when you aren’t afraid to show someone who you are. Some of these men unfortunately created or encouraged many of these obstacles in my life because they were too selfish to think of me. It feels like history repeating but I honestly can’t work it out. Maybe it’s not my time to receive, but to give? Perhaps I have been on my own for so long so that I could strengthen all these self-sufficient emotional strategies, to then share what is possible with others?But, OH. MY. GOD. once again.
So, boys of the future… let me explain something. I will support you through whatever, if you support me in return. I will share all that is great about me, if you can give me the best of you. I will not be afraid to be vulnerable and to show you that I still have stuff to work on, if you won’t just run away when something is no longer solely about you. I would also like to share some more amazing advice. The Friend Zone (that wonderful place where you often put me because actually giving time to building a relationship and showing love is just too much for you) does not, and should not include physical attraction. You cannot ‘Friend Zone’ someone if you want to sleep with them. If I see someone as a friend, I kind of can’t even imagine going there. Now, stop using that excuse, turn your penis off and start thinking with your brain before you take some well meaning, real love seeking girl for a ride she just isn’t interested in going on!
Nb: These are my complete raw emotions for all those wonderful women out there who are powerful all on their own and who are searching for a man ‘man enough’ to be empowered by that.
Nb: No tears were shed during the making of this blog, and I’m now going to bed with a clear head, ready to tackle whatever comes at me next.