There are a few reasons I love flying.
The trip: The thrill of adventure, the lure of something new or the comfort of home. The possibility.
The airport: The people watching, the busy-ness, the tears, the hugs and the skipping along as I cannot contain my excited energy (oops, speaking in general terms of course – I did not just do that! 🙂 ) The luggage as you squeeze your life into a decorated box on wheels for the next little while. The floor to ceiling windows where you can stand with your nose squished against the glass peering out at all the big planes.
The plane: I love the pull of take-off. The instant smile that spreads across my face as the engine revs up and the wheels dig into the runway. I love watching the view of the lights on the ground from way up in the sky.
These would be common loves for many people but here’s where things may get a little different for me…
When I peer out the windows in the airport my mind turns every scene into a Disney Pixar movie. The planes wink at me and the machines come alive. The luggage on the buggies dance with everybody’s belongings trapped inside (think Toy Story 2).
When I bounce through check in and find my seat it’s a big game of lottery. Will I be sitting next to a potential husband tonight? I eagerly sit forward and cram my head to fit into the tiny window space on the plane (or dance around in my seat trying to catch a glimpse, if I’m not lucky enough to have an unobstructed view) to watch all the lights zoom by. My body struggles to sit still with the happy sense of restricted calm that everyone else seems to have. My eyes cannot close to pass the time for fear of missing some excitement. My poor long limbs wiggle to fit into my allocated space.
So, as I sit back in my chair, thinking of the adventure ahead or the treasures of home, I realise something…
I am still a child. Completely.
I don’t know about you, but I’d love your responses… Do many people think like this? I feel super lucky to have the natural ability to still see magic in everything, every day. Last weekend I was driving around my small town and came across a train station so I called out ‘Look! This is where the trains sleep!” I looked at the driver and the subsequent look on her face and realised, ‘Oh yeah, that look of shock, that’s right, these people don’t really know me that well yet.’
Friday, August 15th, 2014…
I am sitting here on a small town plane, in seat 4F (next to a boring grown up woman) doing all my excited airport things and not feeling like an adult at all. I am heading home to Mum and Dad so maybe that has something to do with it but I don’t think so, as this thought occurs to me often. I remember hearing a mother at the shops say to her young child one day, “Be careful or you’ll bump into the lady.“ I remember turning around to look for the lady in case I’m about to bump into her also. Then I realise I am the lady. Surely not. I may be ladylike most of the time but I’m not grown up enough to be called a lady in my mind. I may be tall but on the inside I feel like a little kid, jumping around in a grown up world trying to pull as much colour and fun into view as possible.
Sunday, August 17th, 2014…
I’m sitting here on a small town plane, in seat 17F (next to a cute guy – WOOP WOOP) doing all my airport things again and still not really feeling like I fit into the category of child or adult. Students at school often ask me “Are you a teenager?” I respond with a “Not officially”. They then follow up that question with “Are you a Mum?” I respond with “No, not yet”. They look at me with such a puzzled expression. Two responses will forever stick with me. 1. “Then what are you?” and 2. “You must still be a kid”. Out of the mouths of babes. I think they understand me the best out of anyone.
I’m proud of myself. I got on the plane tonight. No tears. I’m sad but I’m trying so hard to ‘just keep swimming’ (think Dory from Finding Nemo). Life is hard at the moment. So hard. But I have things to look forward to. I have my loveable bird waiting for me back home. I have lots of fun weekends to look forward to. Time will keep passing and I’ll see everyone soon. I also have some great adventures to share with you from this weekend, so I will keep writing.