The part where I share my retrospective dating stories for the last time

During the last few years I have been on numerous overseas trips and have developed a little tune to signify the international men met on holidays with my travel buddy. The first story happened slowly over dinner. I was sitting in the bar with said travel buddy, sipping on cocktails at the top of a high-rise building. I looked over at a table with an older couple and a guy about my age. His name is now ‘IM1’ (international man 1). ‘IM1’ looked back at me. Cute. Dinner arrived after a few more glances. Umm, help travel buddy. I can’t eat my dinner while he’s watching me so intently. Stares. Glances. Walk pasts. Awkward, yet I was totally patting myself on the back. He better pay more attention to his dinner guests. Maybe they were his parents? Maybe that’s why he looked like he wanted to be over here and not over there. Luckily we were moved from the bar to a fancy table overlooking the whole international city. Luckily he…. followed me. How am I going to eat my dinner now??? He is cute though. Hmm, his table seems to be pretty close to ours. Oh, my travel buddy has a great idea. She will go to the bathroom and see if he makes a move. OMG! He sent his dinner guests home and made a move to my table….Hi IM1. Oooh, thanks for the cocktail. Oh, they were work colleagues. Oh, you are here from another exotic international location on a business trip. Interesting 🙂 Oh, it’s now 3am and they are kicking us out. Thanks for the final over-the-shoulder look as we both walked in opposite directions ‘IM1’. Ahhh memories! I can’t believe he looked back too!!!! Cheers and hugs with travel buddy!

‘IM2’ and ‘IM3’ need to be introduced as a pair, even though I met ‘IM2’ on his own. I met him while I was overseas, kept in touch and then saw him again when he traveled to Australia with his “OMG who’s your hot friend?” friend (cue ‘IM3’). Nice men 😉 Great spa! Wicked weekend of fast cars and delicious fun! My friends gave me a new nickname after those stories. Oops! Do-over? Yes, please! One of those history making weekends. Just as long as you remember… innocently cheeky, completely PG rated… Yep!

Back home I was becoming good friends with ‘The Friend’. See, I told you this was all PG rated. Sometimes even G rated, very very G rated. I was also getting along famously with ‘The Football Team’. Just harmless flirting people! Still PG rated. The ‘Door Knocker’ was still fun to hang out with and continually surprised me with midnight door knocks. But, with all of this, I sometimes wondered if guys liked drama way more than girls did.

By now I had completely given up on the online world. Deleted my dating profile. I think ‘Bike Pants Man’ was the final straw…and I was leaving soon anyway. So I wasn’t actively looking for my person and was lucky enough to meet ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’ through mutual friends. All my friends tell me it happens when you least expect it. YES! This is how it was supposed to work. Good references and awesome friends in common. YES! I got my wing woman to text him to see if he’d like my number. He said yes! He text and I asked if he’d like to catch up. He said yes. YES! I organised a mid-week outdoor cinema movie date. I felt great as I am usually not good at making decisions – I don’t think. Movie date turned into dinner and dessert and walking. YES! What a great night! Then a party a few days later. His friends had heard all about me. YES! But then basically nothing. Maybe I was too keen? Maybe I was leaving and that was scary? Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be, but this rejection hurt. I don’t think ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’ thought I was his Miss Perfect. Even though we got along brilliantly. Even though I had proof – it’s a bonus having mutual friends – excellent gossip collectors. He could only be my ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’ if he thought I was just as perfect for him right? So now what do I call him? Life works in funny ways though and it’s difficult to have equal feelings to someone else. I really came to understand this when ‘Bar Boy’ came onto the scene as I was organising THE date with ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’. I was completely busy until I knew if the Perfect thing would go anywhere. Too much pressure? Poor ‘Bar Boy’. He was SO excited to meet me too. He even said if our first date went well he could move up north with me. Too keen. Probably the reverse of me and ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’. Coupled people really have found the jackpot because you have to be in the same head and heart space. Oh well, it’s probably better I start this new chapter, which I will call ‘Seachange’, unattached and ready for anything. Still…still, I’m a bit hung up on ‘Mr Could Be Perfect’. So much so I can’t give you any more details than that. But, he’s still a mutual friend and still texts me. Boys are so hard to understand! Especially for girls who just love to over-analyse every situation. Who knows!

[A simple text message, or is it.. ]
*phone message beeps*
Boy (message): Hey, how’s your day going?
Girl (internal monologue): Omg omg omg he text me! Arrgghhh! Omg, he cares! What do you think he means? I wonder why he text me. He was thinking about me. Does that mean he likes me? Maybe he likes me! Woohoo! Oh god, but he probably doesn’t.
*reply options*
HeyHey 🙂 [no, way too enthusiastic] Hi {name}, my day has been really great [because I am so popular and happy…then insert anecdote of funny/cool moment from the day]. How has your day been? What did you get up to? [must make sure to finish with a question to encourage another reply]

Of course, said text message reply won’t be sent until a casual, I-am-busy-and-have-important-things-to-do, few hours later. Copy of message might be sent to wingman/woman to make sure it sounds happy and breezy before pressing the final and all important send button. Follow up message or panicked phone call will then be made to wingman/woman when reply is not received in a comfortable amount of time. Stress will be felt before total euphoria when a reply is received.

Boy (message): Good thanks
Girl (internal monologue): Aww damn, he didn’t ask a question back… He didn’t even really answer my question. Well I can’t write back now, that’ll seem too pushy. Or maybe I should just be strong, not play these silly little games and just text him and ask him out. I am an independent woman. I go after what I want. Girls can make the rules too. He might like it if I just go for it. He might feel emasculated though. ARGH! I’ll text a friend instead and go out for coffee and analyse it some more before I respond…if I even respond.


As I get out of my car in Melrose Place late at night, as I walk to the lift with a Christmas hat and t-shirt on, as I say thanks to the shirtless muscley man holding the door open for me… I realise again how exciting little moments in my life are. I am grateful to realise every one of them. As muscle man says to me with an embarrassed chuckle “who washes their car this late at night huh!?“, as he leaves the lift on the ground floor and I continue on to my floor I see his bucket of soapy sponges and I think….well, ‘Random Shirtless Muscley Secret Late Night Car Washing Guy’, I’m glad you do and you totally just made my night!

So there we go, thanks for all the stories 2012/2013. This is where the knowing stops and where the adventure begins. 2014 here I come!


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