The part where Antonio finally takes over the story

Everyone needs an ‘Antonio’ story. I can’t believe I have one. You better read on and tell all your friends because I practically told anyone who would listen. I earned the title ‘recluse‘ by my constant over-sharing.

I need to tell you about his funny moment first. Being a teacher I am lucky enough to hear many entertaining conversations. This one will prove to you how much I am shocked to have my ‘Antonio’ story. From the mouths of babes…

Pyjama day at school
Girl: *takes off dressing gown to reveal sleeveless tshirt*
Boy: “oh please, I can’t handle it, omg” *covers eyes*
Girl: “you’ll have to get used to seeing girls when you get married”
Boy: “nooooo, I’m going to stay a single man! I. Staying single like Miss _________ – sit still and drink cups of coffee – Single!”
Me: OMG! *laughter and tears*

So with this insight unveiled, from the first time I met ‘Antonio’, I told Facebook. This guy was hot. It had to be documented. Consider my single, coffee drinker situation. I also had no intention of blogging at this stage. ‘Antonio’ had this little flirty way about him when he spoke to me too, that I naively dismissed of course. Facebook helped me nickname him. Facebook spurred me on to make contact with this man. Facebook kept me completely distracted by him with its enthusiastic replies.

Below are the times and locations when I bumped into ‘Antonio’ accidentally:

1. Moving in day (as mentioned previously)
2. Taking out rubbish in daggy dress day
3. Carrying bird home from school day (he actually referred to me as the bird lady…shit)
4. Shirtless washing his motorbike next to my mailbox day (who, in real life, squeezes out a sponge on themselves?)
5. In the car park fixing his bike with manly tools day

Next are the times I bumped into ‘Antonio’ purposefully, looking beautiful and speaking articulately:

0. Dammit!

‘Antonio’ then went missing for several weeks. I noticed this because every time I drove into the car park and glanced at his car space (coincidently) his car was not there. Life was boring without ‘Antonio’… until one day in the car park. This guy lives directly opposite me you know. But the car park is the place to meet in a unit block. I was actually on the way to meet ‘Bike Pants Man’, in totally baggy trackies and ugg boots. I know you must be wondering why, when going to meet a boy, that I would wear such boring clothes. Very out of character. But he was actually quite boring by this time and only liked to sit on the couch. Why not? Why bother dressing up for ‘Bike Pants Man’? Until ‘Antonio’ joined the scene however. Whhhhhhyyyyy!? Why did I leave my unit? It’s okay though, I got what was coming. He asked me outright “What the hell are you wearing?” “Oh I’m just going to the servo” I replied. LIE! “Well, you need to follow me back upstairs and change your clothes young lady!” OMG!

In the lift he revealed to me that that night was his last night in Australia. He had a new job in China and had been holidaying for the last few weeks. See, told you he had been missing. He showed me his empty apartment as proof. He even offered me a door mat and actually installed it for me with his muscles in my apartment. Meanwhile, my head was screaming Oh…My…God! He looked around my apartment on his way out and simply said “I can’t put you in a box can I? I thought I had you worked out but you are unique aren’t you?” Umm, yes ‘Antonio’, I guess I am. Is that good?

Anyway, he left to pack and I got changed before going to the boring ‘servo’.

But it wasn’t really the end, I just didn’t know it yet.


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